No Really, I Bought Her a Ring

So I was hoping to get a "c'mon Lars stop joking around" reaction like Richard Feynman and the stolen door, but I guess that's not going to happen. Now I'm supposed to write down "the story" while the details are all fresh on my mind. It's actually a little different than Sarah's version of the story, so hopefully she'll write her version down too and you all can get the whole picture.

The Conspiracy

After my previous visit to Omaha (Thanksgiving) it occurred to me that the time was right and I'd better do a little homework on diamond shopping in preparation. We had already talked a little about jewelry-- Sarah doesn't remember having this particular conversation, but she told me a while ago that she liked princess cut diamonds and platinum settings. OK, that's something I could start with. I checked a few places online and tried to learn a thing or two about color and clarity etc. But online pictures only go so far, so I decided to visit a jeweler in Champaign. She showed me some example diamonds, with and without visible flaws, and showed some color differences and how they look against platinum. She also showed me some palladium rings, which some of the nerds amongst you will recognize as a reductor in biochemical reactions, and the other nerds will recognize it as one of the ingredients of the tabletop fusion experiment at the U. Apparently palladium has a use in jewelry too. It looks a lot like platinum but is less expensive and is a harder metal so it doesn't scratch as easily.

At this point the thought came into my mind: I could go ahead and buy something. If she hates it we could exchange it. Then the counter-thought: no, no way, you are in over your head here, what if she hates palladium? But I couldn't shake the idea. When I went home I slept on it (which isn't really true, I tossed and turned) and in the morning decided to recruit some help. I called my married brother Joseph. (Sorry everyone else, I had to pick someone, and he's married to a non-Olson female!) He and Lacey suggested among other things that if I'm not going on any input from her, I should at least get input from one of her married sisters. I feel very sly about this part. :) I hadn't ever called or e-mailed any of them before so I didn't know how to contact them. Luckily, Sarah had conveniently provided addresses for me at her Picasa site. I picked Mary. (Again, sorry everyone else, I had to pick someone.)

Mary was very excited to be let in on the conspiracy. She had a look at the pictures I sent on, but also suggested I have a look at Blue Nile, where their other sister Becca's husband had purchased her diamond. Mary ruled out the solitaires pretty quickly, and pointed out some other designs that she liked. They had good prices, so although I couldn't actually inspect it beforehand, I decided to go ahead and buy something in their make-your-own-ring section. After receiving some excellent suggestions, I ended up picking out a completely different setting. Well, not completely different, it was similar to one that Mary had pointed out, but this one struck me as being a little more sparkly, and you know how girls like sparklies!! And it was platinum. (So much for the whole palladium idea, but at least it served its purpose in helping me make the decision.) As for the stone, oh man... this one was clearly the one. Good size, color, clarity, and price, it was a no-brainer.

The Wait

Now to keep my cool as the ring was being assembled and shipped. The scariest part was that my work in Champaign was finished and I had no reason to stay, except to wait for the ring. Again luck played into my hands. Sarah told me she didn't want to know when I was coming back to Omaha, so I didn't tell her, thus avoiding having to explain why. :) And somehow she didn't chew me out when we talked on the phone and all I could say about my day was that I went Christmas shopping, or whatever I was doing that clearly didn't need to be done in Champaign. (I'm sure she wanted to chew me out, though!)

I also needed to figure out how I was going to make the grand presentation. I may be a little inept at some things, but I knew that I had to do more than just hand it over. No, I had to prepare her special day. In the meantime, my roommate Alex proposed to Gretchen. That got everyone in the ward talking about engagement, including a couple of key conversations (neither of whom knew anything about Sarah's ring or my devious plans). Giles said that his ideal proposal location would be someplace symbolic to both of them. Hmmm... symbolic... in Omaha... and indoors, because it's cold outside. I really couldn't think of anything except the desert exhibit at the zoo-- where last time we went, a mouse was on the loose and scared Sarah (thus symbolizing how scary it would be to marry me)-- or the temple. The temple seemed like the best idea I could come up with, and I just hoped it wouldn't come out cheesy. The second key conversation was an idea from my other roommate Bobert who came up with this brilliant idea of how to present the ring. More on this later.

The Drive

Sarah's patience held out long enough for me to get the ring, which looked... nice, I guess. But having it in my hands sure made me second-guess myself. She's going to hate it, she's going to think it's hideous, she's going to think the rock is too small, it's not going to fit her finger, she's going to be upset that we didn't shop for it together... My one consolation in all this was that we could exchange it, although that wouldn't have been quite ideal. I was beginning to think the opportunity for "ideal" may have gone out the window.

And I must admit the experience felt a little surreal, either like this wasn't really going to happen, or like it was just happening to someone else and I was simply a casual observer. Which is not to say I wasn't nervous. I had sent Sarah a text message the day I purchased the ring, and then sent her an e-mail when the ring arrived, not to spill the beans of course but just to tell her that I was thinking about her. I also called home a few times-- never to talk about the ring itself, mostly to talk about frustrations with school and such, but with the unspoken message that I was nervous and needed to steady myself.

As I was driving to Omaha, Sarah gave me a call during lunch break. During our conversation, she was teasing me (as she is wont to do) about how she's gotten more jewelry from my dad than from me. I kept my cool and teased back about how I already gave her a ring with an enormous C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁ stone. She replied that she wanted one made of just carbon. At that point I knew everything would be OK.

Unfortunately, there was a possible hitch in the plan. Two, actually. One was that she was feeling a little under the weather. She was getting better, but it's hard to plan something around someone feeling well. The second was that Saturday was really the best day before Christmas to plan for, and she was on call Friday, meaning she'd be sleeping all afternoon Saturday and would still be exhausted during the big event.

The Proposal

Luckily, she was indeed feeling much better on Friday. As for being exhausted, well, I told her I wanted to have a nice dress-up date night, and if she felt too tired we could do it some other night. She asked me if it was OK if she dozed off during the temple trip. I told her that would be fine. So she went to sleep as we listened to Christmas music on the classical station on the radio, and in the meantime I finished up a letter I had been preparing for her explaining why I think she's extraordinary and wanted her to marry me. I also still hadn't figured out where to have dinner, but I remembered an Italian restaurant downtown that we passed by but decided was a little too expensive. By the time Sarah woke up I had a pretty good plan in mind. All plans need a little flexibility, though.

Sarah changed into a dark brown and green skirt with a white blouse and a bright green sweater. How she knew that my olive-green suit was the only one I had brought with me, I don't know. She just has an instinct for things like that. Anyway, we went back to the Schroeders' so I could change my clothes, and she realized... she forgot her temple clothes back at her apartment. And I realized... I didn't have as much of a cushion for time as I thought I had.

After picking up her clothes, I did a quick calculation and it looked like we were going to miss the temple. So a quick decision-- if I had to choose between dinner and the temple, I didn't think I could propose in a crowded restaurant so I asked if we could go to the temple first and then if it's not too late, we could get some dinner. Sarah said that would be OK. Just then, inspiration struck: there was a little crepe restaurant, "Dario's Brasserie," just a couple of blocks from Sarah's house that we had wanted to check out. No driving across town necessary, which just might leave enough time after all. She liked the idea, so we split an order of potato croquettes and a salmon-and-spinach crepe, with a nutella-and-banana dessert crepe to go. (We were still a little pressed for time, after all.)

We made it to the temple on time, but I was hardly able to pay attention. The full import of what I was about to do was starting to kick in, and I knew Sarah was needing to get some sleep soon. Sure enough, as soon as it was over, Sarah asked if we could go home now. I told her sure, but that first I wanted to have a little talk with her. She said OK, so I told her to change out of her white clothes and then we'd talk.

As she went back into the dressing room, I went to find a temple worker to see if it would be appropriate to do this in the temple. He got the shift supervisor, who said he didn't see any reason why it wouldn't be OK, and I asked if there were a room where we could have a little privacy. Realize, now, the Winter Quarters temple is very small, so there aren't exactly spare rooms just not being used, but luckily, this being near the end of the day he showed me a little waiting room off to the side where temple workers ordinarily sit and rest. So I went back to change my clothes and get ready.

I hurried, but Sarah of course still beat me there. I led her to the waiting room and asked her to sit down. I told her I had a lot to say but didn't think I'd be able to say it correctly, so instead I wrote her a letter. I handed it to her, and she (blissfully unaware of what was going on) asked if I wanted her to read it now. Um, yes please. She zipped through each page like it was a Dr. Seuss book, and I was thinking "aaugh, no fair speed-reading! I'm not ready yet!" She finished the letter and thanked me. My mind went blank. What was supposed to be next? Oh yes. "I'd better get down on my knee for this part," I said, and asked her if she would marry me. Without any noticeable hesitation, she said "Yes." I was expecting more of a delay, perhaps even an answer of "I'll think about it." My mind went blank again. Oh yes, ring...

In one hand, I had been holding a little Disney Princess ring that I had bought at Wal-Mart. I said "I know we haven't been ring shopping yet, so would you accept this ring until we can find a more suitable one?" She looked at the ring, giggled a bit, and said "no." OK, ha-ha, very funny Sarah. I could tell she was playing with me so I waited. She continued, "Just kidding. Here, give me that." And as she took it out of my hand, she saw the pink ribbon I had tied to it. As she kept pulling, I finally opened my hand to show a very elegant diamond ring at the other end of the ribbon.



She looked at it with a blank expression. Finally she said "What is this?" I untied the ribbon and nervously slipped it on her finger. It fit! Whew! Well, maybe a slightly smaller ring size might have been a little better, but it looked pretty good. Sarah's reaction? "Wow... I don't know what to say." Still with a blank expression. Oh no, she thinks it's hideous but doesn't want to say anything negative! Nuts! She giggled some more as she gave me a hug-- I thought it was to express appreciation for the cute effort and to soften the blow of telling me that we can go pick a different ring together. But then I felt her turn her left hand off my back ever so slightly, and I could tell she was looking at the ring again. Then she started to cry. I remembered that I had wrapped the two rings in a handkerchief to keep them from scratching each other. In a fit of sanity, I pulled the handkerchief from my pocket and handed it to her. Finally she found some words: "It's beautiful." And then: "Can I still keep the other ring?"

The icing on the cake: on the drive home, she asked me how I knew what to shop for. I started by reminding her of our conversation about princess-cut diamonds and platinum rings. "*gasp!* This is platinum?!? It is platinum!" (Good sign #1: the center stone is so sparkly that she doesn't even notice the platinum band.) "Lars, you have to get this exchanged, this is too much." (Good sign #2: she asks for a less expensive ring.)



The Reactions

As she started coming back down to earth, Sarah asked if I had talked with her parents yet. I had not. She said she can't give me an official "yes" until I did. She insisted I call them immediately, even though I thought they would already be in bed. I called before we got home. Sis. Peterson answered and I apologized for calling so late and asked if I could speak with her and her husband. Bro. Peterson was actually out that night, watching BYU's football game in the Las Vegas bowl. I had forgotten that was going on. Fortunately, the Lord allowed BYU to win so that Bro. Peterson would be in a good mood. (Just kidding! Lighten up, people!) Anyway, Sis. Peterson asked if it was an emergency and if I needed to talk tonight. I assured her there was no emergency, but that I would indeed like to talk tonight.

They called back 11:30pm while poor Sarah was nearly spent. I got right to the point-- I figured it was late enough that what everyone really wanted was to go to bed. They were pleased and readily gave their permission. I asked if they had any concerns or advice, and they said no concerns, and just keep our covenants and we'd be fine.

After we finished, I thought we ought to go to bed. Sarah, however, wasn't quite ready, she wanted me to call my parents. (Mom, I think you owe her thanks for this one.) When I called, I asked Mom if Dad was there. She handed the phone over to him. I said "No, I meant I need to talk with both of you." Mom grabbed the other phone, and I said "I've kinda been working in the dark for the last couple of weeks." Mom thought I was talking about my thesis exam. I said "No, I'm talking about something you don't know about yet. I bought Sarah a ring two weeks ago." "Does she know about this yet?" "She's sitting right next to me." Squeal. "Let me talk to her!" I handed the phone over to Sarah. Sarah told me afterwards that when she told Mom I had proposed, Mom asked "and you said Yes?" (Thanks Mom.) Everyone else that was home wanted to talk to Sarah too (not much interest in talking to me), but eventually we were able to pull away and finally get to sleep.

As we went to church the next morning, a few people noticed a sparkle coming from Sarah's hand, so we figured we'd better tell the Schroeders before they hear it from someone else. Sis. Schroeder teaches Primary, so we pulled her out of her room just as she was beginning her lesson. Sarah said "We need to tell you something." Sis. Schroeder got a concerned look on her face and said "What? What did I do?" We laughed and Sarah said "No, nothing like that. Lars, why don't you tell her?" I stammered "Ummm..." as Sis. Schroeder's eyes got big and drifted down to Sarah's hand. I didn't need to say anything else.

Other reactions: Bobert was pleased that his idea worked so well. Adam Richardson said "I'm trying to think as to whether I would call you 'lucky' or 'blessed'" and "it's about time." (A sentiment echoed by my entire family.) Alex Valencic said "You've given me everything I need" and hung up. Adam Braun immediately remembered being very impressed with Sarah when she had given a talk in Illinois. My brother Sam gave me some sort of traditional Klingon greeting "Chook-bohk hab-nida!" (Dear Sam: Nuq daq yuj da'pol!) Feel free to add your reactions by commenting on this excessively lengthy blog entry.